Ham and Eggs
It's time for the ham and eggs post. Yes, I know no one voted for this topic, but it seems appropriate being the end of the year with reflection and all that crap. Plus, the Gancer vaguely covered this so I found myself reinspired. I may be out of it, but when Grey's Anatomy introduced me to the "Ham and Egg" concept I fell in love. My relationship has had a fairly consistent look and feel to it for the past couple years, but it was not until I heard my situation in a breakfast metaphor did I really understand what is going on here!! I am the HAM!! I'm in. I'm game. I'm putting myself out there.. while my counterpart just pops a couple eggs on the plate without thinking about it. [Involved vs. committed I believe it goes] Yes, I admit, sometimes we are just a ginormous omelette because I get all fed-up and yank my ham off the table, but generally speaking ham's my role. Now, obviously if you're reading this you know how great I am. I mean, seriously. I don't get "headaches;" I like to cook; I like live sporting events; I will never cut my hair short I am some awesome ham!!!! I am the honey-baked ham of ham!! OK, no that's a lie, because i'm not that hot, but damn it, I'm definitely a B+ ham! While I understand we've all got commitment-phobia to some degree and anyone whose done anything interesting in life is going to have some baggage... but I'm starting to take it personal. According to the space time-continuum we're years in, but by all accounts we look and feel like we're 3-months in.
I argue that by now if eggs can't pony-up and play as meat, then I am not the ham for him. Seriously,I need some advice guys: How long is too long? How does a girl know when to hold em, know when to fold em, when to walk away, when to run?
posted by darci ann at 3:02 PM
13 Comments:
I'm drowning in all these meat metaphors, but I will say that you are one honey of a ham.
Alright, pull up a chair, because this is how it goes. A dude who doesn't call, or invest time in a relationship, isn't interested in something long-term. A chick who doesn't call, or invest time in a relationship, isn't interested in something long-term. Both sides have to put in equal effort, otherwise you end up with runny eggs and overcooked ham, or salmonela ham and burnt eggs. Who wants that?
The question you have to ask is fairly simple: are you okay with the occassional scrambled ham and egg omelette, and willing to work on finding another meat accompaniment while said scrambling goes on in the background? Remember: Separating scrambled ham and eggs can be a bitch, so proceed knowing that it may not be possible and either the eggs are going to be attached to the ham, or the ham is going to be attached to the eggs.
One more thing: don't play any games. As it turns out, green eggs and ham is nothing but a children's book.
You know, I was in this same darn situation about 5 years ago and dumping the dude was the best thing I've done. Granted, I've not met anyone worth dating long-term (and I have dated. A LOT) but I'm here to tell you: being single and fabulous is imminently preferable to being committed without really being committed. And pissed off to boot. And hell, being single and less-than-fabulous (more accurate in my case) is pretty good too. At least, at that point, you're not frustrated and angry and building resentments.
Just my ten cents, I guess. Shit or get off the pot, I always say. ;-) Good luck! (Btw, we need to do lunch soon. I've got a pot sticker craving.)
Is it a Northwest passive aggressive thing to be "dating, but not dating"?
There's also a whole lot of "I don't have time to date" thing going on. I don't get that, either. People make time for the things that are important to them.
Having never seen Grey's Anatomy, I'm not entirely familar with the Ham and Eggs concept, but I think I get where you're coming from.
Now although you probably shouldn't take advice from someone who's less than a year seperated from his wife, I'll throw in my thoughts anyhow. Very few people are a perfect match, and most relationships are a compromise, so decide if you're both willing to compromise to make things work, otherwise it probably is best to move on rather than end up at each others throats.
Good use of Kenny Rogers by the way :)
Happy New Year Darci!
1) You are definitely a Grade-A Ham. Ha! 2) Am not sure about the whole ham & eggs metaphor, but whatever, he got you DDR for christmas which is fun. 3) Thank you for taking me to the airport this morning. 4) Why have you not blogged about "10 Reasons I Love My Roommate"
xoxo
Whoo, I'm just glad I didn't miss the middle school talent show blog while I was out of town!
Now about your scrambled eggs and smoked ham problem... Hmmm... I am, like Dr. Ken, a little confused on the details due to the preponderance of breakfast metaphors, but I think I got the meat of it (HAH!).
It sounds like a 2-year not quite relationship that threads the line of fling and casual beginning. Hmmm.... Tough to say what to do w/o more details, but one piece of advice. Ask yourself do you really want to be with him. Way too often I hear people quibbling over every action by their partner and never worrying about what they themselves want. And I would also say this tends to be more of a girl thing to do (though not always). So not sure if this missed the boat, but just make sure b4 you worry yourself silly about whether he really really likes you, make sure you really really like him.
And then can we get to the 13-year-old white girls dressed in hip-hop gear lip-synching rap aongs? Please??
Christ I need a new brain. I am so not following this ham and egg thing.
But regardless, Darci, I think you are Grade A Fancy ham.
I think it's too long when you wake up one morning and realize you are now bacon. :)
Darci - for those of us who are painfully waiting for Grey's Anatomy Season 3 on DVD and have no idea what the hell ham and eggs have to do with anything but Dr. Seuss can you please explain?
My brain hurts...and it's not my New Year hangover.
I would also like to say that, based purely on your description, it's time to cut bait. What are you waiting for? ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. The worst that can happen is that they say no.
The big question is...are you're willing to deal with no as the answer? I think you are.
Things can only get better for such fine ham as yourself.
Mmmm juicy.
wow. i love all you guys. Prashant I have no doubt you could kick that Greg Bherdetkasjg's (he's just not that into you guy) ass. Seriously you could charge. You're all right on so many levels. Chuckdaddy, Chuckdaddy, thank god the youth of America is in your hands -- so SO true. This definitely drove some pondering and thought. WHY do we girls do that, I guess because we're chickens and would rather not take responsibility for the decision. Shrug who knows. Well, 2007 has kicked off well so we'll see how things go. The Chicken still has some shit to prove, but on the whole is out of the red. :) I'll of course fail to keep you posted with any regularity and bore you at some random time. I do e-love you all.
I think it's time to keep it real and pursue some humility... up next: Middle School Talent shows: God Forgive me.
Middle School Talent Shows? What happened to "10 Reasons I Love My Roommate Amy?" Is it going to take as long as Miya took to make my scarf for you to compile the list? Should be quite easy IMO. Also, found a new yummy cheese down here that I will be bringing home with me!
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